How to explain to children that their father does not need them

 

After twelve years of marriage, my husband left for another, leaving me and three children. A year has passed. And I still can’t come to terms and reorganize to a new way of life. Only children keep it. Do not let you do something stupid. Waking up every morning, at first I lie with my eyes closed and dream that he is sleeping next to him. And so from these thoughts it becomes warm and easy on the soul. But not for long. One has only to open his eyes and everything is remembered. Once again I have to accept his absence in my life and in the lives of our children. As it turned out, this is a very heavy burden. Especially when you love. Even after what he did. It all happened almost suddenly. A month before leaving, my husband changed dramatically in his behavior towards me and the children. Coldness and alienation began to be felt. I tried not to burden him at this moment. I thought I was in trouble at work. It turned out he had another woman. He left without a scandal. Sharp and fast. All communication stopped immediately. Well, even if I'm not needed, he doesn't want to see the children either. Moreover, he even stopped communicating with them by phone. Although they are small, they perfectly understand that something has happened. I didn’t turn the boys against my father. I told them that dad was simply forced to leave for a long time to work. Has gone so far that there is no connection, no internet to contact us. I decided to give myself a head start. What if he comes back? After a while, the kids calmed down and stopped asking questions. And we all began to secretly wait for the return of the pope home. And now, after a year, I accidentally ran into him at the opposite end of town. He was lovely. And happy. His eyes are radiant and tender. Gentle to the one who separated us. She just took and trampled the whole family. She ripped out the soul alive and threw it away. I gathered all my will into a fist and went to meet them. Smiling, she greeted the first. I asked how they were doing. And so, by the way, she told the ex that the boys ordered as a gift for the New Year. I offered to participate in the purchase. The answer was expected, but still hurt me. The former spouse said that now he has no extra money, as they are expecting their first child and preparing for childbirth. I wished my wife and future child health and said goodbye with my head held high. The further three hundred meters was difficult. The ground slipped from under my feet. I sat down on a bench and drank some water. It became easier, but not in my soul. It felt like I was torn to pieces again and thrown in different directions. I couldn't get myself together. I expected everything that was possible, but there is no such renunciation of my own children! And I lived with this person for twelve years. Happy 12 years old. I have only one question: “how could a person change so polarly in such a short time? Has he always been like this? " I will probably never know the answer to this question. I don’t want to. I realized that in vain I cherished the hope of his return and lied to the children. Now you need to carefully tell them everything and move on. Just how?