Husband is angry that he spent his salary on my grandmother's funeral

 

My grandmother died on December 23. She was a very good woman. Death was quick, but not easy. For me and my mother, this event was a great grief, we are both in shock. My grandmother had put her pension aside for funerals for many years. The pension was tiny. My mother and I often borrowed this money from her for food and other needs before paycheck, and then gave it away. But sometimes, in especially difficult times, they might not give it back. Granny, although she seemed to understand everything, but, of course, was offended by us. When I got married, my husband wanted an expensive wedding. I didn't like this idea, I wanted everything to be modest. But he certainly wanted to show off to all his relatives. He expected that his closest relatives would pour money for the wedding. But that did not happen. They were organizing the wedding, and he was billed. And he uncomplainingly paid what he could. But there was not enough money. And then my grandmother gave us a large sum. Naturally, these were her funeral. We never returned this money. For almost 5 years of marriage, we had expenses for repairs, for rest, for various purchases, but not for debt. Of course, it’s my fault that I didn’t insist on returning this money. But at first I thought that my grandmother gave them to me, and only recently I found out that she was waiting for us to return them, and was offended that we ourselves did not understand this. Moreover, we even repeatedly borrowed from my grandmother's funeral, which she managed to accumulate over the years of our marriage. This money has already been returned. And so, grandmother died. It was just the situation that we owed her money. It was mainly my mother who organized the funeral. We returned her another debt, but grandmother's savings were still not enough for the funeral. My mother had to report part of her pension, and my husband - part of his salary. I'm on maternity leave now, and I don't have my own money. In addition to the funeral, there were expenses for commemoration, for trips to the cemetery by taxi, for trips to churches to order various services for the repose of my grandmother. Of course, there were also everyday expenses for living, for a child. It took my mom's entire pension and my husband's entire salary. Mom only managed to save the amount of money for me for the pills that I take every day. When my husband found out about this money for pills, he got the impression that my mother has some savings that she does not talk about. I decided that his entire salary was spent on the funeral, and my mother probably did not spend her pension all, since she even set aside money for me for pills. Today my husband and I had a quarrel, during which he shared his suspicions about my mom's secret savings. I frankly regretted the salary that went to the funeral. I listened to him in horror. Some 12 days have passed since the death of a person close to me, and my husband does not care that I have grief! He only remembers about his money! I tried to dissuade him that my mother had no savings, that everything was fair. But he bends his line. I was struck by his words about spending on funerals. The funeral was the cheapest possible. My grandmother treated my husband so well! If she knew that he would regret her money for the funeral, I think she would be very upset. I reminded my husband of the wedding debt that we took from my grandmother's funeral money, and which was never returned. She said that if that debt were repaid, then my grandmother would now have enough money for the funeral, and she would not have to spend her husband's salary. Let him consider these expenses a return of the debt for the wedding! I want to cry from such callousness.