I did not expect such an act from myself

 

I almost cheated on my husband, but please do not judge immediately. I just can't tell anyone else. Together with her husband for 10 years, there is a son (3 years). The last 2 years, the relationship has deteriorated. As if some kind of crisis. She offered to go to a psychologist, she doesn't want to. Sometimes at the time of major quarrels I think about divorce, but I love it. He's just very emotional, he can scream, and I'm calm. Before my husband, I had one boyfriend. He was the first in every sense. I was 18 then and we met for six months. Then he left me, I suffered bitterly and met my husband. We started dating and as it turned out later, he knows Andrei (my ex-boyfriend). More precisely, they know each other and communicate well. Then Andrei left for another city and no one spoke to him. After a while, we moved 2 thousand kilometers, got married, lived in a rented apartment and finally bought our house. Why am I telling all this? And the fact that the neighbors turned out to be Andrey's family. Honestly, I haven't remembered him these years. Occasionally it happened, and then I saw it, and took my memory back to where I was 18 years old. He has a family and also a small child. Then I could not even think how this neighborhood would end. So we began to communicate a little, my husband knew everything about me and Andrey, but he was not jealous of the past. Katya, Andrey's wife, I don't know if she knew who I was. We all talked like dear old acquaintances. I was confident in myself, or rather, I could not even think of what I was capable of. It was for the New Year holidays. We had a very hard fight with my husband, the child is with my grandmother, the husband went to his mother-in-law alone, as we had a fight. I sat at home watching TV and drank wine. Suddenly Katya calls me and says to urgently come to their aid (I am a doctor). I ran, it turned out, her mother fell down and couldn't get up on the street, and the ambulance took a long time to go, and although I am an ENT, I am still a doctor. I helped them, and then an ambulance came and took her mother with a suspicion of a fracture and Katya went with her. Andrey thanked me for a long time, and I went home. At home I drank more wine and wrote to Andrey myself on the social network. I understand that it was necessary to go to bed, and not write to other people's husbands! I wrote that I was drinking wine. He wrote that I should go to him, that there is also wine. And I went. We talked for a long time, everyone remembered, the past flooded. And I came to myself only when he undressed me. I really wanted to, but I understood that this was a step into the abyss. I quickly got dressed and went home. Andrei did not try to stop me, maybe he also realized that this was a mistake, or maybe he has a million mistresses, I don't know. I know one thing that I am very ashamed of. I still feel like a traitor. But I can't tell my husband either, he won't forgive. And so the relationship is not in the best shape. For 6 days I have been walking like a mummy. I'm sick of myself, I hate myself. What if Andrey will tell her husband everything? Talk to Andrey about this or not. What to do?