The husband does not admit his guilt and acts as if I am to blame

 

I have a problem and don't even know how to solve it now. I always seemed to know how to talk to my husband, but now in complete confusion and misunderstanding of what was happening. About a year ago, I turned on my laptop and saw adult films there. The husband did not deny anything, he just looked there in silence. To be honest, I reacted normally to it. Well, I looked and looked, what's wrong with that. But then the conversation started about why he was watching it. And then the answer was unpleasant to me. The husband said that he wanted to see a naked female body, and that he was looking not at the process, but at the girl. It offended me greatly, but we did not swear. We calmly discussed everything, it seemed like he promised that he would come to me with such desires, and he himself (I did not ask him) promised that this would not happen again. After half a year, somewhere again, the situation repeated itself. Then I was already offended by him. He apologized, said that now it will definitely not happen again. I, of course, understand that this is just a photo and video and I didn’t start to inflate a quarrel out of it or something worse, although it was very unpleasant. But what happened yesterday and today is a shock! I should have ovulation in the coming days, we are planning a baby, I warned him about this. He was delighted and said that we would try, plan, try to get pregnant, and then said: "I'm tired, let's start tomorrow." It offended me a lot, as if it was just me! We had a little fight and went to bed in different corners of the bed. I could not sleep and decided to go to the kitchen to eat. My phone sat down and I took my husband's mobile to reach the kitchen with a flashlight. There I also began to sit on the Internet from his phone and I decided to look at the browser history. And there are these videos again! I didn't wake up and throw a tantrum, I just made a screen on my phone and that's it. In the morning he began to talk to me as usual, when they were going to work. I tell him: "look at the screenshots on your phone." He looked for a very long time and was silent, and then began to say that it was not him, this was not his, and he saw it for the first time. To be honest, it was not the situation with the phone that made me very angry, but the fact that he began to lie. Well looked and looked! Yes, it’s unpleasant for me, but I didn’t even think to argue with him about this. I decided that if he liked it so much, let him look. Now a little digression related to this situation. My friend found a correspondence between her husband and a girl, one might say a mistress, and when she began to present it to him, he began to say: "It's not me, they set me up, it's not mine!" And I told my husband this (my friend was not against it, I asked her permission). And he said her husband was a fool! And how could anyone say such a thing. It's better to say everything directly, to apologize, to give flowers, to fall on your knees, to beg forgiveness. And here it turns out a little similar situation and he began to behave just like my friend's husband! We had a big fight over this in the morning, but then he came up and kissed me goodbye. When he takes offense at me and doesn't feel guilty, he never does that! Then at lunchtime he called me and talked to me again as if nothing had happened! And he also asks why I don't want to talk to him. I answer: "you yourself know." He says: “I don’t know, I don’t understand what you mean, explain!”. The conversation did not go well. In the evening, he and I agreed to go and buy a multicooker, for which my parents gave us money for the New Year. Obviously, I didn't want to go anywhere with him, but he had the money in cash. He calls me and very rudely asks: "Will you go for a multicooker?" I answer that I will not go anywhere with him. He: "Then I'll go and buy it myself." I say: “In our family, only I cook, and you do not know which one I need! And this is my parents' money, actually, don't forget about it! " He replies: "I will go and buy whatever I choose." Can you imagine? As a result, I came home from work a long time ago, the time is soon 10 pm, and he is still not at home. It turns out that he is guilty in front of me, but behaves as if I did something terrible! I'm generally shocked. This has never happened. He began to accuse me of not trusting him and rummaging through his phone. I understand that we cannot let go of the situation and we need to continue to bend our line so that he himself comes and apologizes, so that he understands that I will not leave it that way. But nevertheless, I am very not at ease. He's not at home. I don't know how to behave. What can you tell me? Who had similar situations (when the husband does not admit guilt) and how did you behave?