I had to give up the sick guy

 

My boyfriend had a heart attack and clinical death. Now he is in a vegetative state (a state of small consciousness). We did not live together, but this person is very dear to me. Only his mother and I know and the people who got into this situation, what we went through. And we pass now. The indifference of doctors, bureaucracy, the need to make decisions in such grief, to study the situation. Doctors, as we know, are always silent. Moreover, in the hospital he was brought to such a state that he would have died of anorexia and bedsores if I had not realized in time that he was not being fed elementary and we were not told that we need to bring food. But I want to write about something else. I won't, I won't. Three days ago, I had to make a decision that I can no longer help them. And the reason is that during this time I myself do not know where with one foot, and what awaits me. I cannot physically, since I myself am very sick (hypertension, serious problems with the spine, etc.). The whole set of chronic diseases. I can hardly work, when walking it leads to the side. Fear that I will fall myself and not get out. And how can I help someone in this state? This I mean that some write that when leaving you burn out only psychologically, but not physically. It's not like that at all. I can say with confidence that the caregiver loses health very quickly, especially if you are not healthy before. Checked on myself. I have a serious sense of guilt that I had to back down, but I just can't. Physically, I can't.