I want to divorce my husband because of his daughter from my first marriage

 

My husband and I are on the verge of divorce. And all because of his daughter from his first marriage. He divorced more than 5 years ago. The girl is already 11 years old, she shows character, and then, I think, it will be even worse. Her mother communicates with her husband only at the expense of money and daughter. I am ignored, even when I try to ask or say something - zero attention. Doesn't even look in my direction, very arrogant and mannered. The daughter adopts her behavior and literally wipes her feet on me. He also defiantly ignores, pretends that I am not. The husband sees her almost every day. He meets from school, studies, is always in touch, often talks on the phone for a long time. She visits our house three times a week. She teaches lessons, eats, we have a lot of her toys and clothes. The whole room is allocated. It is because of her that we took three rubles in the mortgage. And of course, she often sleeps with us. I clearly outlined my position at the beginning of the relationship. I do not interfere with parenting, I do not try to become a second mother or be friends. This is not my child and I do not want to closely communicate with him. I help, cook, talk politely, but don't interfere. It suited my husband, he did not expect warmth and love from me, he understood that it was not easy for me. His ex-wife has long established her personal life. Her husband has money, like she. They both drive expensive cars, she wears furs. However, she always does not have enough money for a child. She shakes her husband constantly, despite the alimony. Either you need to go to the sea for rest, or repairs in the room, or the child wants expensive classes. And the fact that she also has to somehow invest, does not consider, saying that the girl already lives with her. She is very attached to her mother, just a copy of her, always protects her and confirms any words before her father. I am a very calm person by nature. It's hard to piss me off. However, this child tests my patience all the time. From the very beginning, we had a neutral relationship. My husband and I met, got married, didn't even invite her to a wedding, together with my ex (I didn't want to go without my mother, my husband was very upset). Everything went relatively well. But then, as soon as she began to come to visit on a regular basis, when her own room had already appeared in the apartment, she began to show herself. Either I cook is not tasty, then I tell her nasty things (which never happened), then I set up against my mother, provoke quarrels. As if I have nothing to do. If you don't like cooking, I suggest that my husband cook for her what she wants. The husband, by the way, does not know how to cook at all, so we have disagreements. Now the girl also began to be jealous of me for him. I always meet my husband from work, because I come earlier, hug him, set the table. But if he comes with her, she literally won't let me go, hanging on her father. We've almost stopped spending time together. Work, home, child, if we walk, then we also take it with us. She will be offended, you can't leave her at least once. I once asked why she and her mother does not spend so much time, does not walk with her and her stepfather, to which my husband replied that they already have a joint baby (3 years old) and they are not up to her. Allegedly, the girl cannot find a common language with her stepfather and is annoyed by her little brother. After living in this situation for three years, I am terribly tired. There is always not enough money, we only went on vacation once a honeymoon, unlike his daughter, whom we constantly sponsor. We pull a mortgage, alimony and her wishes. Cooking, washing, cleaning for three. The husband sometimes helps, but very rarely, because he does not have time. The whole house is on me. You have to save a lot on yourself in order to buy something large, an oven or a table for the kitchen, the same sofa. We live not so long ago, from furniture only what relatives gave away. My parents gave the mortgage, because my husband could not save anything while he lived alone. I didn't think it would be so hard. So much spending. I am 28 years old and I want my children, but this is very unlikely. My husband would also like to, but he is afraid that this will drag us into a financial hole. I love him very much, he is a good father, a good, understanding husband, although he can be quick-tempered. But I can't stand such a life anymore. He promises everything that everything will change further. That you need to endure a little, wait. The main thing is not money, but a loving family.

I am terribly jealous of a friend whose husband is limited to alimony and meetings with his son on weekends, without dragging him home. Yes, I agreed to it myself, but at the very beginning it was not at all like that. There were no debts due to the loss of a job (the husband found another, but not immediately). There were no frills for the girl, there were no health problems. My teeth hurt terribly, I need to be treated, but the cost is simply cosmic. My parents constantly help with money, throw it up periodically and often lament about our life, feel sorry for me. His relatives only occasionally give gifts for the holidays and say that everything is as it should be, the child should have a father. Which also should and should. I'm tired. Now I still regret the joint mortgage; it would be better if I bought myself a small apartment and registered it only for myself. Now, even nowhere to move out. My parents are in another city, but I have no money at all. You can sell it, but then you have to split the money with my husband in half, pay off the mortgage and I won't have enough for housing. And living in constant stress is also a bad option. I want to escape from it all, I feel cornered. I tried to talk to my husband, but he cannot do otherwise, my daughter loves very much and does not want to choose between us. For him to reduce communication with her a little, this is already a betrayal. Some kind of nightmare.